[ it's good that vi isn't crowding. that is the right answer. there's a moment before roxana takes off her gloves, wipes her mouth with one, and turns them inside out.
she takes in a breath. ]
There isn't much to be done. I only need a moment.
[ if anything, vi knows that roxana likes her space. she cares, but not blindly - she observes, and she adapts. and she knows that this is probably her worst nightmare, to be seen vulnerable.
[ roxana knows she can't hide that something is wrong anymore, but it's always a tense moment when someone finds out. weakness, vulnerability, and control are all things she constantly thinks about, all things that affect her more than they should.
the tension does not leave her yet, but she nods. at least she isn't telling vi to go away. ]
[ and she'll hoist herself up off the ground to go grab a bottle. when she comes back, she'll crack it open without asking, leaving the bottlecap on, and hands it to roxana. she's... clearly worried, but she's still not crowding.
she'll wait, to see if roxana offers an explanation. ]
To wield and control the butterflies I painstakingly hatched, it is a small side effect. It doesn't happen that often. I would not undo all my hard work.
[ roxana has the impression that vi does not think very well or hope much for herself. she has pointed it out enough that she thinks it'd only circle a point instead of move it anywhere. ]
It's only a few more weeks now. Less than half left.
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week 4, saturday
well. vi can find roxana collapsed on the ground, hunched over with a gloved hand covering her mouth. her shoulders are shaking slightly. ]
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well, it certainly startles the shit out of her. vi stumbles, and then hurries her way over, crouching next to her. ]
-- Hey, what? Roxana? [ are you OKAY ]
cw: emeto
she holds up her other hand as if to tell vi to keep her distance. ]
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she does pause - she won't touch, she won't crowd, but she's not going to just leave her here to cough up blood, hello?? she stays crouching. ]
Okay. [ what does she even say here... she flounders slightly, and then: ] I'm here if you need something, just --
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she takes in a breath. ]
There isn't much to be done. I only need a moment.
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silence, for a moment, and then: ]
You want me to get you water?
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the tension does not leave her yet, but she nods. at least she isn't telling vi to go away. ]
If you would.
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[ and she'll hoist herself up off the ground to go grab a bottle. when she comes back, she'll crack it open without asking, leaving the bottlecap on, and hands it to roxana. she's... clearly worried, but she's still not crowding.
she'll wait, to see if roxana offers an explanation. ]
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it takes a moment, but she does say something, even if it isn't much. ]
It's not something that can be changed.
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Not even with one of those items you get from killing someone?
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To wield and control the butterflies I painstakingly hatched, it is a small side effect. It doesn't happen that often. I would not undo all my hard work.
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Sure, you just cough up blood every so often, that's fine. What do butterflies have to do with this? Wield them?
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But - they're hurting you, right? [ ... ] Is it permanent? Or will that stop when you don't need them?
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There won't be a time I'll stop needing them.
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[ a beat, and then: ]
If you meant rest as in die, I'm gonna be so pissed.
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[ it's just easier to chase away men in your heteronormative world if you can sic killer butterflies on them. ]
Unless I become a hermit. And even then, the forests are full of monsters and creatures to defend from.
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How long are you going to get with those things eating you?
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I know you could give a shit what I think, but I want better for you.
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... Thank you, Vi. Perhaps better can happen at the end of all this.
[ although it's difficult to say how much roxana believes that. ]
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I'll remember that when we get there. [ and she'll try to make it true. ]
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It's only a few more weeks now. Less than half left.
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[ rubs at her face, absently. ]
I'm sick of it. Hope we get to burn everything to the ground.
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[ she would help burn this place down to leave it behind. ]
It might save us from being haunted us by horses, too.