[ okay - okay, okay, yeah. he doesn't mind ths at all - he exhales out in an all at once whoosh, and throws his arm around her shoulders, clapping hard against the opposite one and gripping tight to return the hug. tight, tight as something you once lost, once, twice.
temporarily, briefly boneless with the heave and weight of that sigh, and he manages a soft swear, a - ] Bloody hell.
[ she mumbles, hiding her face for a second. she rests a hand on the back of his head and closes her eyes, shifting to hold him half up if he needs. a beat, and then: ]
[ i want you to know i spent this entire time hunting for a good hug icon between game ads and i FAILED
anyway - the hand on the back of his head is as grounding as anything, and his grip tightens, fingers curling in the fabric of her clothes. he does the exact same, brows furrowed, deep inhale. in, and out. ]
[ he's fine now, at least, knowing they are. with a ping of - guilt, really, because someone else wasn't, but he steps back just a little bit, just enough, and rubs his face. ]
[ yeah that's fine. he doesn't seem to want to be very far either, though he's still overcoming what seem like post adrenaline jitters from being freed from the containment zone.
the comment gets a dry snort, and he shakes his head. ]
Bloody weird. Justice was onto something, that. [ his buddy.... just thinking about the first trial m akes him feel awful all over again, though, and he scoots a little closer into the hand on his arm out of affection week and out of gravity. ]
[ she keeps her hand on his arm, rubbing it a little out of instinct. comfort. for a second she thinks he's talking about anders, but remembers oh right. apollo.
a beat, and then she wrinkles her nose. ]
Yeah. I have no idea what I'm doing. [ she's never done anything like it, not even at home. ] And it's not even because they got a bug in their ear about it probably. It was probably on purpose.
do they have trials in metaphor world? who knows! they have gallows! but he nods, folding his arms, foot starting to tap tap tap against the floor in agitation. ]
Don't worry about that. I don't think anyone else does, either. [ knows what they're doing... ] And if they do, we'll just pick it up from them. Can't be as messy as it was for...
[ ... he trails off, there, shakes his head again. ]
...Yeah. Thelyss deserved better, no matter what it was - someone making assumptions, some lunatic deciding to kill for the hell of it, anything. No matter what, we'll find out.
[ squeezes his arm again. she doesn't want him thinking about her trial, honestly, it's going to be hard enough. ]
They were pretty upfront about having to kill people. [ she says, shifting her weight back and forth. ] I know most of us were dead by this point, but for some reason I didn't think it'd start right away. Everybody was talking about it like it was way more... routine.
[ it's so wild to be from a 2week. ]
... You'd tell me, right, if someone tried to force you to kill someone?
he thinks about nathalie - he's not sure if he believed her, when she said she couldn't say anything, but it's been on his mind - and falls silent, for a longer moment. ]
... If I could tell you about it, I would. [ that, first. it's honest, his gaze going sidelong to look at her again, something intense and truthful in the raw words. he would. ] If I felt I could get out of it, I'd do everything in my power to do so, ask for help included.
[ ... ]
If I couldn't, you wouldn't have to worry about it. I'd take myself out, first.
[ ough well first. before anything, he gives her that last bit and she fucking punches him really hard in the arm, instinctive, her expression souring. it's out of her mouth before she can stop it, really, just. a really, really bad reaction to the idea of him taking himself out, no matter the circumstance. ]
[ the comment's out of his mouth before he even thinks about it. ] Sort of like how finding you with that damned healing item was?
[ it's more broody sounding and mulish than it is furious in the face of that, if only because, well - he knows why she's really mad, because it's the same reason he was. they're built so similarly it's hard not to understand, and he's learned more empathy than he already had in the past few months.
hand still on his arm, he makes a sort of jerky, half-aborted motion of throwing his hands up, and then sighs. ]
Look. I don't want it to come to that either. I've - [ ... ] If I can get back to His Highness, I'm getting back, and I'm bringing you with me. I promised. And I've broken enough damn promises to you, already.
I didn't have time to use it, Strohl, the fuck did you expect me to do? It wasn't going to fix me being cut in half.
[ unfortunately, she spits that right back, but - kind of regrets it. there's still... so much that she has not confronted about that. there's a lot of feelings she has had all week about dying and having to die, and she doesn't know how to express them or get them out, but.
... she understands. she gets why they're both pissed. and she knows she's a hypocrite, but. ]
Don't promise that. [ she says after a second. ] Okay? Not - not now. We don't know if it's for sure that I can go with you. Me trying already landed us here, I don't want that to happen for a third time.
[ it could have. you don't know that. he doesn't say it, this time. he just looks - hurt, mad, but in the same way. like a wounded animal, someone who has lost and lost and lost, someone who regrets the words out of his mouth as soon as he says them. regrets every failed promise, regrets the fact that he couldn't wake up that night and protect vi when she needed an ally, after everything he'd said.
don't promise that. hits that same way, regret bitter on the back of his tongue. ]
... [ strohl doesn't say he won't, and luckily, he doesn't have to. instead, that same urge to protect rises quick, and it redirects his anger into something more affronted, edges softened just a touch in comparison to before. ] You did not land us here - in what universe does that make any sense.
[ she doesn't like putting that look on his face. they're so similar in some ways, because it's protective, it's the urge to put yourself in front of the sword for someone you care about, someone you just met. it wasn't his fault. it was probably her's, because it usually is, for not thinking before she jumps.
it's the universe telling her she couldn't just leave her mess behind her. ]
It's gotta be a consequence, right? For trying to sneak onto your fucking train. [ a beat. ] Whatever. I don't want to argue about it.
[ it's a little too close to strohl seeing just how much she hates herself sometimes, and she doesn't want that out in the open. ]
[ absolutely not fuck you!!! he feels bad enough about failing her once already, actually, and to hear her blame herself for what was, really, his fault, makes him scowl. ]
If it's a consequence, then what'd everyone else do to earn the same thing? What the hell could - someone like Rupert, for example, have possibly done to have deserved this. Don't be daft.
[ she doesn't want to argue, so he doesn't push much harder than that, though the look that follows is sharp. in the end, they kind of deserve each other for this exact reason. ]
I did. But it doesn't matter, right now. What matters is the fact we're both here, and this is still awful, but it's far better than the last Arboursday you and I spent together before some trial.
[ she doesn't answer the bit about rupert, because she also thinks the poor boy doesn't deserve to be here. but. he's right, this sucks, but she's not dead. even though she kind of expected to be. there's a lot of horrible shit becoming black mold in her lungs at that whole thing, too. ]
Wish we hadn't been shuttled off to our separate lounges. I didn't want to be trapped in there.
[ she... rubs at her face. and then - waves, like. come on. come with me, we're going to her lounge, because she wants to drink. guest passes you in for two hours. ]
[ The lounge's common area is a bar with a cozy atmosphere with a small collection of both tables and couches for seating. The bar itself is backlit by low neon lights for a warm glow and a back wall displaying all sorts of bottles of liquor, mixers and otherwise. The bar top is solid with a small built-in sink and ice box for making delicious drinks and a collection of sugars, spices, and salts are kept in organized containers amongst the glasses.
it kind of looks a little likeee this in nature but also there's still beige around! there's a kitchen close by, too, and two rooms and a bathroom. there are stickers on the counter of the bar that say 🤜 wahoo!!! 🤛 all over.
vi absently reaches to take his hand as they come through, because affection week, and because it's kind of just like. what she does to her siblings in general.
she'll lead him to the bar proper! ]
Want anything? [ a beat. ] What was that look for?
he'll take it! that's fine. his hands are calloused and strong as ever, maybe even more so than they were the last time they met - affection week makes it easy, so he's led. he looks at the wahoo stickers, but mostly at the cool atmosphere, and now he's definitely making a face ]
Take an ale, if you've got one. [ also ] Just... thinking about these rooms, is all. Ours is... something.
[ mods voice: what team is the most likely to get into a portland polycule situation lowe immediately and without hesitation: (team d but our actual team name) ]
Your whole team is something. [ she says, amused. she lets go of his hand so she can get him some sort of ale, and grabs just like. straight whiskey for herself. jonas got so mad at her for this he was like WE CAN DO MIXED DRINKS but she's lazy.
slides him an ale and sits on the bar counter. ]
How'd that go last night? Did any fights break out?
No, but I was enjoying my first bloody night of peaceful sleep on Wednesday when I woke up to a boom like a damned gunner. Asuka and Boothill got into it over a bedroom and shot each other.
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temporarily, briefly boneless with the heave and weight of that sigh, and he manages a soft swear, a - ] Bloody hell.
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[ she mumbles, hiding her face for a second. she rests a hand on the back of his head and closes her eyes, shifting to hold him half up if he needs. a beat, and then: ]
I'm okay. Are you?
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anyway - the hand on the back of his head is as grounding as anything, and his grip tightens, fingers curling in the fabric of her clothes. he does the exact same, brows furrowed, deep inhale. in, and out. ]
Yeah. [ roughshod and quiet. ] Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Hulkenberg's okay, too.
[ he's fine now, at least, knowing they are. with a ping of - guilt, really, because someone else wasn't, but he steps back just a little bit, just enough, and rubs his face. ]
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when he moves back, she keeps her hands on his arms, just - to be touching, grounding. she does not want him out of her sight for a bit, honestly. ]
Good. [ an exhale. and then, with a little huff: ] ... There's a trial tomorrow. Weird, isn't it. How normal it is for everybody.
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the comment gets a dry snort, and he shakes his head. ]
Bloody weird. Justice was onto something, that. [ his buddy.... just thinking about the first trial m akes him feel awful all over again, though, and he scoots a little closer into the hand on his arm out of affection week and out of gravity. ]
...Your first. [ trial, that is. ]
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a beat, and then she wrinkles her nose. ]
Yeah. I have no idea what I'm doing. [ she's never done anything like it, not even at home. ] And it's not even because they got a bug in their ear about it probably. It was probably on purpose.
Fuck. Poor Essek.
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do they have trials in metaphor world? who knows! they have gallows! but he nods, folding his arms, foot starting to tap tap tap against the floor in agitation. ]
Don't worry about that. I don't think anyone else does, either. [ knows what they're doing... ] And if they do, we'll just pick it up from them. Can't be as messy as it was for...
[ ... he trails off, there, shakes his head again. ]
...Yeah. Thelyss deserved better, no matter what it was - someone making assumptions, some lunatic deciding to kill for the hell of it, anything. No matter what, we'll find out.
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They were pretty upfront about having to kill people. [ she says, shifting her weight back and forth. ] I know most of us were dead by this point, but for some reason I didn't think it'd start right away. Everybody was talking about it like it was way more... routine.
[ it's so wild to be from a 2week. ]
... You'd tell me, right, if someone tried to force you to kill someone?
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he thinks about nathalie - he's not sure if he believed her, when she said she couldn't say anything, but it's been on his mind - and falls silent, for a longer moment. ]
... If I could tell you about it, I would. [ that, first. it's honest, his gaze going sidelong to look at her again, something intense and truthful in the raw words. he would. ] If I felt I could get out of it, I'd do everything in my power to do so, ask for help included.
[ ... ]
If I couldn't, you wouldn't have to worry about it. I'd take myself out, first.
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No the fuck you wouldn't.
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And do what instead, hurt someone else? Like hell.
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Fuck off. You don't take yourself out, no matter the circumstances. What - what, like having to watch you do that wouldn't hurt? Fuck you.
We'll figure something out if it comes to that.
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[ it's more broody sounding and mulish than it is furious in the face of that, if only because, well - he knows why she's really mad, because it's the same reason he was. they're built so similarly it's hard not to understand, and he's learned more empathy than he already had in the past few months.
hand still on his arm, he makes a sort of jerky, half-aborted motion of throwing his hands up, and then sighs. ]
Look. I don't want it to come to that either. I've - [ ... ] If I can get back to His Highness, I'm getting back, and I'm bringing you with me. I promised. And I've broken enough damn promises to you, already.
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[ unfortunately, she spits that right back, but - kind of regrets it. there's still... so much that she has not confronted about that. there's a lot of feelings she has had all week about dying and having to die, and she doesn't know how to express them or get them out, but.
... she understands. she gets why they're both pissed. and she knows she's a hypocrite, but. ]
Don't promise that. [ she says after a second. ] Okay? Not - not now. We don't know if it's for sure that I can go with you. Me trying already landed us here, I don't want that to happen for a third time.
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don't promise that. hits that same way, regret bitter on the back of his tongue. ]
... [ strohl doesn't say he won't, and luckily, he doesn't have to. instead, that same urge to protect rises quick, and it redirects his anger into something more affronted, edges softened just a touch in comparison to before. ] You did not land us here - in what universe does that make any sense.
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it's the universe telling her she couldn't just leave her mess behind her. ]
It's gotta be a consequence, right? For trying to sneak onto your fucking train. [ a beat. ] Whatever. I don't want to argue about it.
[ it's a little too close to strohl seeing just how much she hates herself sometimes, and she doesn't want that out in the open. ]
You didn't break any promises.
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If it's a consequence, then what'd everyone else do to earn the same thing? What the hell could - someone like Rupert, for example, have possibly done to have deserved this. Don't be daft.
[ she doesn't want to argue, so he doesn't push much harder than that, though the look that follows is sharp. in the end, they kind of deserve each other for this exact reason. ]
I did. But it doesn't matter, right now. What matters is the fact we're both here, and this is still awful, but it's far better than the last Arboursday you and I spent together before some trial.
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[ she doesn't answer the bit about rupert, because she also thinks the poor boy doesn't deserve to be here. but. he's right, this sucks, but she's not dead. even though she kind of expected to be. there's a lot of horrible shit becoming black mold in her lungs at that whole thing, too. ]
Wish we hadn't been shuttled off to our separate lounges. I didn't want to be trapped in there.
[ she... rubs at her face. and then - waves, like. come on. come with me, we're going to her lounge, because she wants to drink. guest passes you in for two hours. ]
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[ muttered, looking briefly off into the distance as if staring into the camera and recalling something...
...anyway. he shakes his head after that and nods, following after with relative ease. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR HOUSE. ]
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it kind of looks a little likeee this in nature but also there's still beige around! there's a kitchen close by, too, and two rooms and a bathroom. there are stickers on the counter of the bar that say 🤜 wahoo!!! 🤛 all over.
vi absently reaches to take his hand as they come through, because affection week, and because it's kind of just like. what she does to her siblings in general.
she'll lead him to the bar proper! ]
Want anything? [ a beat. ] What was that look for?
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he'll take it! that's fine. his hands are calloused and strong as ever, maybe even more so than they were the last time they met - affection week makes it easy, so he's led. he looks at the wahoo stickers, but mostly at the cool atmosphere, and now he's definitely making a face ]
Take an ale, if you've got one. [ also ] Just... thinking about these rooms, is all. Ours is... something.
[ mods voice: what team is the most likely to get into a portland polycule situation
lowe immediately and without hesitation: (team d but our actual team name) ]
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also HELP ME that's so funny jesus ]
Your whole team is something. [ she says, amused. she lets go of his hand so she can get him some sort of ale, and grabs just like. straight whiskey for herself. jonas got so mad at her for this he was like WE CAN DO MIXED DRINKS but she's lazy.
slides him an ale and sits on the bar counter. ]
How'd that go last night? Did any fights break out?
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[ stares at the drink ]
Not last night.
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Okay. [ she is trying not to grin at this. ] Did you guys fight over the washing machine?
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No, but I was enjoying my first bloody night of peaceful sleep on Wednesday when I woke up to a boom like a damned gunner. Asuka and Boothill got into it over a bedroom and shot each other.
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